Teenage Experience
by sasuke140
Summary: All of us have had an awkward, amazing, or a terrible thing happen to us.
1. Envious

At the age of sixteen, Lovino realized that being a teenager sucked. You were too old to be as optimistic as a child but too young to cope with all of the emotions that you deal with on a regular basis.

 _Like envy._

He tried so hard to deny and ignore the dreadful feeling. But of course life never makes anything easy. Every second of the day he heard how amazing, intelligent, artistic, or how adorable his younger brother was. It pissed him off!

Not because he hated his brother or anything, he loved him more than anything else. But constantly hearing about the success of someone younger than you eventually got annoying.

So what if his brother's art was being featured in some gallery, or if he made straight A's yet again! What about his achievements, weren't they important? What made his brother so special? The idiot didn't even try to succeed, he didn't have to.

He was a genius, a protégée.

Something Lovino would never be, he wasn't special and he had to work hard if he wanted anything.

Lovino could draw a pretty decent tree, and his brother could make it better. Hell, he could draw everything surrounding the tree while he was at it.

Lovino usually made B's, and an A if he was lucky. Which is nice and all but Feliciano only made A's.

Few people have told Lovino how handsome he was. Though his brother was constantly being chased by modeling agencies dying to recruit him.

Even his brother's name was better! What the hell was his father thinking when he named him? His brother's name translated to happy, which is what he was and what everyone felt when they were around him. However, Lovino's name didn't even have a meaning, and the closest translation for it was "I ruin."

See where I'm going with this?

The point is, envy was a feeling Lovino was well acquainted with. He envied his brother because he was perfect in everything he did. He envied him because he knew he'd never be as great as him.

Lovino envied his brother because unlike Feliciano, he was a failure and he always would be.

 **I want to update my other stories but I have no motivation, so I wrote this! Basically, each chapter is about an expierence or feeling many teenagers have experienced at some point. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	2. Forgotten

Gilbert had taken notice of what was going on. He wasn't stupid or oblivious, he just chose to ignore it. What good would worrying about it do for him? Nothing, exactly. So instead of crying to himself in the middle of the night, or complaining every five seconds about how much he hated life, he decided to make his presence know.

Ever since he was a child, Gilbert was always known for his wildness. He always talked loud enough so that everyone could hear him. He never learned how to walk, so all he ever did was run. Whatever made him stand out among the rest, he did it. Being unique came naturally to him, I mean, have you seen his hair, his eyes?

He didn't act out because he loved to cause trouble or had issues at home. Gilbert does everything he shouldn't do because he wants to be noticed. He wants the memory of his existence imprinted into the minds of everyone he's ever met. Why you may ask?

He doesn't want to be forgotten.

As everyone grows up, they move on in their lives to do bigger and better things. Eventually they forget people they've met and things they used to love. Gilbert doesn't want them to forget him. He wants them to remember him because he matters, he's not a waste of space, he's important.

When his brother Ludwig was born, he didn't hate him or plot his demise because of all the attention that was taken away from him. He loved the shit out of that kid and made it his goal to become the world's most kick ass brother.

When his two best friends decided to move to Austria and get married he didn't stay at home, crying while watching soap operas. He went to their wedding and humiliated Roderrich to his heart's content.

Now, as everyone he knows begins to mature and move on in their lives, they slowly forget about their loud-mouthed albino friend. He knows it's happening, he feels it. He hears the voice in the back of his mind, screaming at him that he doesn't matter anymore and he isn't as awesome as he used to be.

If that was the case, he would fight and force himself into their lives. He would make them realize how amazing and awesome he was.

Gilbert _refused_ to be forgotten.

 **This story is way easier for me to write unlike my others! In this chapter Gilbert isn't exactly a teen, he's about twenty but he's still pretty relatable. I'll be doing another chapter about being forgotten for Canada. Anyways, thank you for reading, please offer criticism and tell me how you feel about the story so far.**


	3. Outsider

Bonds are incredible. They're beautiful things that are unbreakable. Amazing how something that seems so simple is so strong. But there's a catch. They aren't easy to create, which is understandable. Something so powerful that can last for an eternity wouldn't come for an easy price.

Which is why Kiku had no bonds. He had bonded with many people, but bonding with someone doesn't mean you have a bond, it's the step that brings you closer to one.

Kiku was nomadic. He had never had a permanent home. Every two or three years he found himself living somewhere new. It wasn't intentional, it just happened.

His parents had moved their family all over his home country Japan, and now he found himself doing the same thing. He had lived in China, Greece, Germany, Italy, The United Kingdom, and The United States. He had met and befriend people from all over.

One factor in him moving all over the place was probably the fact that he was lonely. Hollow was more like it. No matter where he went, there was always an unpleasant feeling inside of him. He was different from the people around him.

Not because he was Asian, or because he was obsessed with salmon, or even because he may or may not have enjoyed dressing us in maid cosplay.

He was different because he was an _outsider_.

People who grow up in small towns usually go to school together with people they've know since diaper days, and even before that their parents and their parent's parents were close. They have a special bond that Kiku was never able to understand.

No matter how long he lived in a place, it would never be his home, he didn't belong there. They could welcome him with open arms, accept him as one of the gang, but he would always be an outcast.

Kiku had once heard a quote that struck a cord in him, it had weighed him down like a bag of bricks.

"A home is a place you can return to, where there's someone waiting for you."

If that was what a home truly was, then he had no home.

 **Thank you for reading!** **Once again, like Gilbert, Kiku isn't exactly a teen but he's still relatable. Also, congrats to those who got the Naruto Shippuden reference. I'd love it if you guys would offer criticism and opinions.**


	4. Pity Party

"Look at those bastards," the blonde growled as he scrolled through his Instagram feed. Instead of spending his Friday night out partying like many people his age, Arthur preferred to internet stalk his enemies.

More like frenemies.

His family was constantly moving, as soon as he got used to being in one place they had began to head for another. Unfortunately, the last place he had called home was a small town. Smaller towns always seemed to have a different kind of people. No matter how long you stay, they'll always consider you an outsider, unless you were born and raised there.

They made that quite clear for Arthur his first year there. No one spoke or sat next to him during school and when he had tried forcing his way into their lives, they immediately let him know that that wasn't how things worked around there.

When he was at the point that he had almost given up, his prayers had finally been answered. Alfred, Kiku, Francis, and Michelle had come into his life. They were the best of friends that did almost everything together. From parties, to holidays, and even vacations. After a year of agony he was finally finding his place in the town.

But of course, that dream of fitting in had ended sooner than he would have liked.

After four years of staying in the town of Hetalia, the Kirkland family packed up and left.

At first, Arthur was devastated, he tried contacting the group of people he had called his friends. But none of them answered. He waited weeks, trying to get them to respond.

And they did, just not the way he would have liked. Tired of his spam, Alfred and Francis quickly put him in his place.

He wasn't one of them anymore. He left, therefore he was an outsider.

The Brit had come to realize that the three years they had spent together meant nothing to them. Heartbroken and bitter, he found himself stalking them everyday, watching as they moved on in their lives and hoping that they suffered greatly.

He wanted them to to feel what he felt.

Emptiness, sadness, and fear.

But he knew it wouldn't happen. No matter how many times he stayed up in his room, staring at the screen until they updated their profiles, they wouldn't suddenly come to him, begging for forgiveness.

They wouldn't lose someone close to them or experience the worst pain imaginable. They wouldn't spend everyday in their room feeling envious and alone, watching as others had the time of their lives.

Like he did.


	5. Decision Making

"So where do you plan on going to school Ludwig?"

"Come on Ludwig, you can pick somewhere better to go than there!"

"So you plan on going just because your boyfriend's going? You shouldn't let someone else's plans interfere with your own."

"You need to take this more seriously."

"You make it sound like you have a choice."

"You're too smart for this Ludwig."

"Why are you being so negative about this?"

"I expected more from you."

"Honestly Ludwig, this is your future, not mine."

Dear God, the young German was so sick and tired of hearing the same things over and over again. He hadn't asked for some sort of mantra of advice. The school year had just started and he had already been flooded with questions and demands about where he would be going to school next year.

All he wanted was to spend the next four years studying with his adorable Italian boyfriend and pursuing his dream of opening a bakery. But of course, someone always had something to say when it came to his happiness. Countless times he had been lectured on how he shouldn't let Feliciano's career path influence his. Or how he was being selfish about how he planned HIS goals for HIS future.

Oh yeah, because trying to get your life together is so selfish, how dare he?

If only people weren't so concerned about him being a doctor, or how he was wasting his talent in order to spend his days baking cookies, they would understand why he chose the path that he wanted. He didn't care about how much money he would make, or how he'd work his way up the social ladder.

If he wasn't struggling to have basic necessities, then money didn't matter much to him, and for all he cared, society could kiss his ass. The point was, he was content with what he had chosen, and he didn't need anyone else's input on how he'd eventually regret it.

 **This one way veerrryy short, but I think it gets to the point. I decided not to state if he was going into high school or college because transitioning to either can be pretty tough.**


	6. Contained

"Oh fuck," the teen groaned, as he flopped onto his bed. It seemed as if nothing was going his way recently, and frankly, he was over it. As soon as he was starting to enjoy life, something always came along to ruin it for him.

Now Antonio isn't the type of guy who only sees the negative in everything. In fact, he's quite the opposite, but we all have our breaking points. It just so happens that he'd finally reached his.

It all started when a certain Belgian beauty had found her way into their little town. With her being such a bright and cheerful girl, it was no surprise that everyone had quickly welcomed her. Hell, he probably would have done the same had he not noticed that something about her wasn't right.

Sure enough, she had somehow weaseled her way into THE Lovino Vargas's life, something that had taken him ages to do. This was only the beginning of his troubles. From then on, everything continued to go down hill.

Classes began to become harder, his brother kept eating all of their bagels (yes that was a big deal), and his parents were really persistent about convincing him to start looking into some decent colleges. But wait, there's more, not too long after his beloved pet turtle had died.

Everyday began to seem shitter than the last.

But he hadn't said anything, instead choosing to keep smiling and move on.

It took some time, but Antonio had slowly recovered. He was back to playing soccer, dabbled around in the kitchen, and he even forgave his brother for eating all the bagels (like I said, yes it was a big deal)! Of course you know that no one gets to have their happy ending that quickly.

Soon, the Spaniard realized he had taken a liking to his Italian friend, along side the new girl. Now Emma hadn't outright said it, but Antonio had a hunch, and his hunches tended to be more often right than wrong. So, being the adventurous guy he was, Antonio decide to tell him.

Until Francis had beaten him to it, stupid Francis. Well, he did eventually tell him. Butterflies rioted in his stomach, and his heart had been pounding against his chest the entire time.

But the confession had been completely ignored. Of course he hadn't brought it up again, he just continued to smile and move on.

Though it had been about two weeks later that he had found out his said crush had been going out with his rival in love for about a month. Shocker, right? So here he was, rejected and friend zoned for all eternity.

No wonder the poor guy was having trouble looking at things from a positive light. Rejection and sadness are just feelings that need to be felt. They're just as important as happiness, and when you refuse to acknowledge them, they'll break you.

Just like how they had broken Antonio.

But he had learned his lesson. Although it sounded reckless of him to do so, he decide to start being more open about his feelings. Maybe if he had been more up front with Lovino about his feelings, he'd be the one glued to his side. Even if it feels like a scary, embarrassing, or regretful decision, just do it. Trust me, the way you feel after bottling it up for so long is far more agonizing.

 **Sorry if this chapter seems all over the place. I was feeling really emotional when I decided to write it. Please offer some critisism or opinions, either would be appreciated.**


	7. Depressed but Desperate

"You know what? You really are an asshole." The Asian teen scoffed before excusing himself from the table. There was no doubt that he intended to go console his American friend who had stormed off in a fit of rage. Courtesy of Ivan.

As usual, he managed to run off all of those that he held dear. Obviously it wasn't intentional. He just found himself unable to understand people. Over the years he had become desensitized to the feelings of others.

Or "emotionally constipated," as some had put it.

This irritated him. Couldn't he have at least one relationship that would withstand turmoil? Why did his big mouth always wind up getting him in trouble? If his chatter was the problem, then he'd just have to stop talking. Becoming mute would solve all of his problems. Right?

Easy.

Well... Not really.

It was impossible. He was constantly spouting his beliefs and shutting down those that disagreed. He left no room for argument or compromise. He just _always_ had to be right. Thus he was friendless, yet again.

The endless cycle of abandonment was beginning to take its toll on him. He was tired of clinging to people, only for them to shut him out in the end. Was surrounding himself with others really worth it? Was companionship worth his anxiety and loneliness?

Maybe he'd be better off alone.

If he kept to himself, then he wouldn't be able to hurt anyone. He also wouldn't have to deal with the dreadful feeling of being left behind. Playing it safe would be the easiest way to protect himself.

Wait... Wouldn't he be miserable?

Sure, avoiding the general public would likely be the less stressful option. But was it really the less lonely one? He couldn't help be feel attracted to those around him. He was enchanted by the energetic and opinionated attitudes of his peers. He loved them for their differences and couldn't help but crave for them to desire him as well. Knowing this, Ivan knew it would be impossible to give up on chasing them.

Although he felt alone at times, the warmth that embraced him when they were around was too powerful. No wonder he kept crawling back, desperate for approval and acknowledgement. No matter how disgusted they were by him or how much they pushed him away, Ivan would always chase them down.

He clenched his teeth and tightened his fist to summon the courage within him. He abruptly rose from the table to follow his companion.

"Y-Yao! Please, wait!"

 **A/N: It took forever for me to be able to write something that I could consider decent. I always found myself writing a story that was just flooded with my emotions, so I am very satisfied with how this turned out. I know many people are able to ease depression when they have someone to inspire them. I'd like to thank you guys for reading this. Criticism and opinions are much appreciated!**


	8. Anxious Insomniac

He should be fine.

There was no reason to be upset. The past was over. There was no reason to dwell on it. Here he was, bare beside the love of his life. It was tranquil and safe.

Despite this, a menacing feeling began to consume him from the inside out.

It was weird. For the longest time, his life was chaos. Everyday he put up with toxic relationships and an ongoing feeling of numbness.

When he wasn't feeling empty, he was throwing vases at Francis while screaming till his throat was raw. He drank bottles of burning poison and smoked enough to turn his lungs black.

It was a hell that he accepted as his fate. But then he met him.

It was quite the cliché. Some typical all-American boy managed to sweep the depressed emo kid off his feet. Unlike Francis, Alfred was completely devoted to him. Their dates consisted of dinners at McDonalds, horror movie marathons, and lying beneath the stars. Alfred was passionate about every little thing. He talked about his dreams, superheroes, and aliens. He made Arthur feel young and alive.

Granted, he and Francis had some good times. Though those times usually occurred when the two of them were out on the town or when they were tangled in the sheets. It was a love that had burned big and bright, yet died young. His first love was a tragic one **indeed.**

Maybe that's why he felt such an unease. Francis was his world at one point. Depression was his life style. To suddenly throw away all that he had known, was that really okay?

What if Alfred left him? Maybe he'd find himself a younger, more vibrant lover. Would he be able to handle that? After having a taste of true pleasure, he wasn't sure if he'd survive living in solitude again.

Maybe it would be best to leave him while everything was new. He was already in deep, but surely things would be alright if he just got it over and done with.

Right?

Sighing, the young man shifted above his partner. Said man groaned, reaching to rub the sleep from his eyes.

"Babe, what time is it?" The older of the two grinned, amused by the other's groggy tone.

"It's about three in the morning. Sorry love, I didn't intend to wake you." Alfred merely shook his head and ran a hand through his tousled hair.

" 't's fine, are you okay?" The blatant concern made his heart ache. Emerald eyes narrowed with frustration. How could he even think about leaving him?

"No," Arthur replied honestly, burying his face into Alfred's shoulder. Sighing, the American adjusted their position to where his back was resting against the headboard.

"M'kay, I guess we can sit here till you're ready to talk," he yawned.

"Thank you."

 **At first, I was unsure if I wanted to upload this as a one shot rather than an addition to this story. In the end, I felt that staying up late due to anxiety is pretty relatable for a lot of teens. I wanted to post this last night, but I didn't have the strength or motivation to finished writing it (I'm sorry, I'm a terrible writer XD). Anyways, thank you for the support! Criticism and comments are very much appreciated.**


	9. Outside Looking In

A simple question shouldn't have been so difficult to answer. Yes or no, that's all he had to say. Yet here he was, making a big deal out of nothing, as usual. The guy had simply asked if he wanted to go out for dinner with the rest of the team. Instead of actually giving the guy a reasonable response, Matthew chose to stand and stutter like the loser he was.

In the end, he somehow managed to say no. He convinced the guy that he already made plans to have dinner at home with his family.

That's what Matthew hated most about himself. In actuality, he really wanted to go. The guys on the hockey team were a really interesting bunch, and he was starving. But there were so many things that could go wrong, and he would never be able to live down the embarrassment.

What if he didn't have enough money for the restaurant? What if he'd have to get a ride home, then risk having someone see his hovel of a home. What if he couldn't hold a conversation, then everyone would get bored and hate him and they'd never invite him out again and-

Damn it.

Going off on a tangent, as usual. Another reason to hate himself, and to not go out.

With a sigh, Matthew slung his bag over his shoulder and made his way toward the door. Thankfully everyone else was going out to dinner, so he wouldn't have to awkwardly reject their offers to take him home when they realized his ride had yet to arrive.

Honestly, there were so many obstacles popping up in his already stressful life. Maybe he would quit hockey. Well, being the hockey team's manager, that is. He was too anxious to actually try out. It was for the best though.

What if he got nervous during a game, and ended up costing the team a win? Hell, what if he didn't make on the team? What if he was so bad during tryouts that everyone laughed and him and the coach would make him leave for being such a shit hockey player, then he-

Damn it.

Damn it, damn it, damn it.

Honestly, Matthew wished he was normal. Life wo

uld be so much easier if he wasn't living in constant fear, of nothing. Deep down, he knew that it was unlikely anything he was worried abut would actually happen. But he was too terrified to risk it.

Better safe than sorry, right?

But then again, being safe is what got him here. Maybe he'd actually have friends if he wasn't always trying to play it safe. He could be on the hockey team, or start a club, or have a relationship with somebody.

Instead, he was here.

By himself...Waiting for his brother to take him home, so that he could sit alone in his room and have leftover pizza.

* * *

 **A/N: If I'm bEing honest, updates for this story are always painful for me. I write how I feel, and more often than not, I don't feel very well. But I feel like I need this, so I don't plan on ending it until I feel satisfied. It's very helpful when I recieve advice for this story. I really put myself out there emotionally. Any commentary is very much appreciated.**


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